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Rapid Reviews-The Vacation Edition (no, not the movie. I mean I’m on vacation. Oh, nevermind)

August 6, 2009
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I’ve watched quite a few movies in the last week, and I wanted to get my takes on them down for posterity.  I’ll probably write longer reviews for a couple when I return home (raise your hand if you’re holding your breath), but for now, here you go:

  • Zack and Miri Make a Porno – Funny, extremely vulgar, and with a very likeable Seth Rogen, this is probably the best Kevin Smith movie since Chasing Amy—which might be damning it with faint praise (I like Kevin Smith, but his recent run of movies…well, yeah…)—but dialogue that works great in the context of a run-down convenience store doesn’t really cut it in a Starbucks-clone.
  • Total Recall – Everything I love about cheesy Arnold movies.  Bad acting, over-the-top action, ridiculous one-liners, and Arnold barely even making an attempt to act.  In the pantheon of bad Arnold performances, this one might be the best (meaning its the worst, which is good).  See yoo at da pahty, Richta!
  • Coraline – I want to write more about this later so all I’m going to say is that it’s creepy, wonderful, and perfect for the kids, if the kids like giant spider ladies, and they should.
  • Deep Rising – Stephen Sommers is a director I find to be dumb and hacky at his best, but in the GI Joe reviews I read, critics kept pointing to this movie as being his best and a lot of fun.  I no longer trust the judgment of those critics. The two redeeming factors are the viciousness of the monster and the beauty of Famke Janssen.  A fun movie peeks through now and then, but mostly it is just ridiculous and stupid, which are forgiveable, and boring, which is not.

Thus ends the latest installment of Rapid Reviews.

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