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I am a man, and I am a feminist

July 26, 2013

These are not the reasons that I am a feminist:

  • Because I have a mother, sister, and female friends, lovers, and co-workers (Don’t get me wrong, all of these women have played important roles in my life. I just feel like the lonely cry of the misogynist is “How can I hate women?  My mother’s one.”)
  • Because it’s a good way to meet chicks and get laid (I’m handsome and charming enough to meet chicks and get laid without having to be a feminist.  Is that sarcasm, silliness, or arrogance?  I’ll never tell.)
  • Because I hate men. (Although those Men’s Rights assholes can go straight to hell)
  • Because I want ABORTIONS FOR EVERYONE!  (Paid for by the government, of course)
  • Because I’m secretly gay
  • Because I’m not secretly gay (I just confused myself about my own sexuality)
  • Because I like to be dominated in the bedroom
  • Because I like to dominate in the bedroom
  • Because I hate pornography
  • Because I love pornography
  • Because I think all women should go out and get a job
  • Because I think all women should stay home and raise the kids
  • Because women are weak and they need my help
  • Because I’m weak and need women to take care of me
  • Because I’m a communist
  • Because I’m not a communist
  • Because I was brainwashed by a secret cabal of Feminazis
  • Because I plan to lead the secret cabal of Feminazis

These are the reasons that I am a feminist:

  • Because women are human beings with inherent value.

Done. See how easy that was?

Please feel free to share any other reasons that don’t make you a feminist.

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